she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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