He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
