her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
