walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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