How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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