There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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