So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
