i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
