Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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