I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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