Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Randomize
