he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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