Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
