porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
