Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She bit a glass in half.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
