i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
