wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize