Are we in a gay sports bar?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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