i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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