"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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