i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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