TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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