Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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