so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
