this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
