Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
