Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
