There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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