But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
