He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
