Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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