I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
