How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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