No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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