We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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