what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
