Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
