The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
