hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
