Define "chronic" masturbator.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
