you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
