Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
time to smoke my breakfast
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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