I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I skipped work to stalk him.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Randomize
