just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
