This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
