I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
