i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sponge bath it is.
i already hear my dad disowning me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
