just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
