so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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