I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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