i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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